I don't feel like writing a ton - I'm struggling just to create full sentences. Here's my super quick movie reviews. If you want a longer review, check out Leah's The Reel Thing on her blog. She takes the time to give you summaries and insightful critiques. I don't.
The last couple of weeks I have seen:
Taken:
Loved it. Like the Borne movies, but better. Here's why: He's an older guy doing awesome kick ass stuff, this automatically makes him cooler than Borne. Also, I love strong familial ties in films - dad demolishing herds of people to get his daughter back, how sweet. Lastly, this movie is not without it's somewhat humorous moments. "IT'S A FLESH WOUND!"
P.S. I appreciate that not every scene is filmed with a hand held type camera a la Borne Ultimatum and that insect/Godzilla movie that I didn't see (I'm drawing a blank on the title) in which some theaters provided barf bags for queasy moviegoers.
Duplicity:
This movie was looooooong. This film runs over two hours long and is filled with too many flashbacks and flash forwards for my taste. What can I say? The acting was fine, the storyline was fine (with a nice twist), it was all just fine. That's all. Staring at Clive Owen helps, but not quite enough to make it worth spending ten bucks. Also, I hate to say it, but Julia Roberts has some really poor wardrobe choices in this movie. Where the hell is the costume designer when you need him/her? Or maybe it was faulty lighting? Whoever the culprit is, there was some major post-baby weight showing in a few of the scenes. And now I feel like a horrible woman who has betrayed her kind. Sorry feminists 'round the world...but c'mon she's going to be seen my millions of people - stick the lady in some Spanx.
I Love You, Man:
Best thing about this movie - Jason Segel. I love me some Paul Rudd, but he just wasn't cutting it in this film. I'm not sure he should be a lead in anymore of these Apatow-type films. Also, the bromance genre is quickly getting played. If you're going to do another, it needs to be better or more original than the last. Sorry older guys, Superbad was funnier. This movie isn't written well enough, but it does have it's moments. Maybe it's because I'm a girl and missing part of the appeal? Boys, let me if there's more to I Love You, Man than the occasionally humorous jam session and bj references. Lastly, thumbs up to Jamie Pressly for making me laugh more than leading female Rashida Jones.
That's all I've got for now.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Everybody’s Got Issues
This blog entry was inspired by an email I wrote to my friend Nicole while killing time at the library before work.
Everybody’s got issues. I’m not talking about oh, I bite my nails or sometimes I get slight road rage when drivers cut me off. I’m talking about weird things. Really weird things you’ve learned to keep to yourself (or you should keep to yourself) because maybe it’s cute to your significant other or close friends but to the general public it’s just bizarre and creepy. Sometimes people will tell you to “let you freak flag fly,” “just be yourself,” etc. While that sounds all good and dandy, if you scare the little children passing by and are uncomfortable with the incessant strange looks you receive daily, maybe you should think about keep those idiosyncrasies on the down low.
Sitting next to me right now is a woman who would best be describe as a zaftig, Frieda Kahlo look-a-like wearing Buddy Holly glasses. (While e-mailing Nicole earlier I accidentally first wrote Freida Pinto and had to send another email clarifying that Freida Pinto is the gorgeous actress from Slumdog Millionaire – she definitely does not resemble the woman sitting next to me.) Anyway, earlier I saw this woman walk up next to me, examine the chairs, switch the chairs, wipe off the seat with a paper towel, clean the keyboard with a paper towel and is now using the mouse with a paper towel on top of it. I mean she’s moving around a paper towel – cleaning it wasn’t enough. What strikes me as odd is that the crazy lady doesn’t look all that clean herself. Very poorly dressed. Sloppy.
Furthermore, I’m currently having an awful allergy attack. Why, of all places (especially when there are five computers lined up in a row) choose the desktop directly next to me? I’m congested, occasionally sneezing and breathing loudly (although my sister tells me that I’m a loud breather regardless of the pollen count. I was completely unaware of this.) You’d think that would make a clean freak want to move as far away as possible. Anyway, I’m not in any way saying this lady is a bad person because of her issues. Like I said, everybody’s got issues. All I’m saying is maybe move to a more remote location…like Siberia. I kid, I kid. And now I’m a bitch, great. I’m just saying be prepared to be judged by me and fellow judgmental (and maybe a little too superficial, I admit it) individuals like myself. In return, when you find out my issues, which hopefully you never will, you’re allowed to judge me right back.
Everybody’s got issues. I’m not talking about oh, I bite my nails or sometimes I get slight road rage when drivers cut me off. I’m talking about weird things. Really weird things you’ve learned to keep to yourself (or you should keep to yourself) because maybe it’s cute to your significant other or close friends but to the general public it’s just bizarre and creepy. Sometimes people will tell you to “let you freak flag fly,” “just be yourself,” etc. While that sounds all good and dandy, if you scare the little children passing by and are uncomfortable with the incessant strange looks you receive daily, maybe you should think about keep those idiosyncrasies on the down low.
Sitting next to me right now is a woman who would best be describe as a zaftig, Frieda Kahlo look-a-like wearing Buddy Holly glasses. (While e-mailing Nicole earlier I accidentally first wrote Freida Pinto and had to send another email clarifying that Freida Pinto is the gorgeous actress from Slumdog Millionaire – she definitely does not resemble the woman sitting next to me.) Anyway, earlier I saw this woman walk up next to me, examine the chairs, switch the chairs, wipe off the seat with a paper towel, clean the keyboard with a paper towel and is now using the mouse with a paper towel on top of it. I mean she’s moving around a paper towel – cleaning it wasn’t enough. What strikes me as odd is that the crazy lady doesn’t look all that clean herself. Very poorly dressed. Sloppy.
Furthermore, I’m currently having an awful allergy attack. Why, of all places (especially when there are five computers lined up in a row) choose the desktop directly next to me? I’m congested, occasionally sneezing and breathing loudly (although my sister tells me that I’m a loud breather regardless of the pollen count. I was completely unaware of this.) You’d think that would make a clean freak want to move as far away as possible. Anyway, I’m not in any way saying this lady is a bad person because of her issues. Like I said, everybody’s got issues. All I’m saying is maybe move to a more remote location…like Siberia. I kid, I kid. And now I’m a bitch, great. I’m just saying be prepared to be judged by me and fellow judgmental (and maybe a little too superficial, I admit it) individuals like myself. In return, when you find out my issues, which hopefully you never will, you’re allowed to judge me right back.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
A brief note for several parents and future parents:
For lack of a more eloquent way of saying this, please make an effort not to fuck up your kid more than your genetics and preexisting, uncontrollable environmental factors already will. For years I have babysat, been a camp counselor, tutored, student taught, subbed, etc. In other words, I’ve spent my fair share around other people’s children. I’ve had the pleasure of teaching your child new concepts, playing games with them, laughing, learning and more. Most of the time I find it intrinsically rewarding just to be a part of another’s academic career and childhood….here comes the but…
BUT lately I’ve been experiencing a new breed of child, a mutation if you will. I’m used to spoiled kids and rebellious attitudes; I’ve been around dozens of people with an undeserving sense of entitlement. Recently, however, I’ve had to cope with caring for the “kidult.” I’m calling these selfish, spoiled rotten children “kidults” because they have the adorable appearance of a sweet youngster, but tend to take on the role of adult in their family unit. They make the big choices, family decisions cater to their whims and, the worst part, they are aware of their manipulative powers and take no shame in using them upon oblivious parents. There is probably an official or formal term for this condition, but since I don’t know it (or don’t remember it after taking multiple child development classes) I’ll just stick with kidult. This is not new information to anyone; many children are spoiled. I’m writing about this topic now because these kidults are popping up just as fast as foreclosed signs. It is becoming an epidemic.
I currently work at a school in Santa Clara full of upper middle class couples that live in McMansions (which they probably can’t afford anymore) and stick their kids in a million extracurricular activities. A number of these students have no respect for their peers or adults. Their sense of entitlement stops them from cleaning up their own mess before moving on to a new activity, from sharing with others, and disrespecting individuals and their property. They haven’t grown out of the “I want I want I want” phase and will still hit another kid to get their way. Worst of all, they show no remorse for hurting others’ feelings or damaging someone’s possessions (ummm hello little girl, a piano that costs of few Gs isn’t an item you should stick tacks in…and you know it). Pure id has taken over and suffocated its disciplined, well-mannered counterparts in efforts to ensure he/she gets the newest Pokemon card or Bratz doll (read: slutty revamped version of Skipper).
While I don’t take any of the actions and words hurled at me personally, I feel for the other kids in the class…and frankly, I’m getting annoyed.
I know, I know, you’re a hands-on mom, a caring dad; you only want to show your love. You want to provide for your children and give them the materialistic items you didn’t have growing up. You’d do anything to keep your son or daughter from experiencing emotional stress or suffering. That’s all fine and good until you become your child’s personal servant. (Note: when you treat your kids this way, they will expect the same behaviors from others in the real world) Do yourself and your child a favor and teach them politeness, gratitude, and responsibility. Reinforce good behaviors and do not reward tantrums – even if their water works pull at your heartstrings. This is just a ploy do get you to do their bidding. They’re not in pain, not starving, not in a life or death situation. They are FINE. Who wouldn’t try to get out of washing the dishes or taking out the trash if they could?
Here is my suggestion (and equally one of my biggest pet peeves when I don’t observe it): Teach your kids to use the words “please” and “thank you.” I remember being a kid and demanding at the dinner table - “pass the salt,” “give me the water.” I had constant nagging from my mom and dad urging me to use the “magic words.” You know what? Hearing it enough times finally made it become habit. You know what I discovered after that? Using these words and being kind to strangers often resulted in another person being more willing to help me or cater to my needs. Miracle of all miracles – being kind actually got me what I wanted! What a revelation.
All I’m trying to say, folks, is do your job. If you decided to give birth to an innately innocent baby yet somehow it’s progressively metamorphosing into an evil spawn, make a few changes at home. Teach your kids ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and go from there.
Another parenting fail:
see more pwn and owned pictures
BUT lately I’ve been experiencing a new breed of child, a mutation if you will. I’m used to spoiled kids and rebellious attitudes; I’ve been around dozens of people with an undeserving sense of entitlement. Recently, however, I’ve had to cope with caring for the “kidult.” I’m calling these selfish, spoiled rotten children “kidults” because they have the adorable appearance of a sweet youngster, but tend to take on the role of adult in their family unit. They make the big choices, family decisions cater to their whims and, the worst part, they are aware of their manipulative powers and take no shame in using them upon oblivious parents. There is probably an official or formal term for this condition, but since I don’t know it (or don’t remember it after taking multiple child development classes) I’ll just stick with kidult. This is not new information to anyone; many children are spoiled. I’m writing about this topic now because these kidults are popping up just as fast as foreclosed signs. It is becoming an epidemic.
I currently work at a school in Santa Clara full of upper middle class couples that live in McMansions (which they probably can’t afford anymore) and stick their kids in a million extracurricular activities. A number of these students have no respect for their peers or adults. Their sense of entitlement stops them from cleaning up their own mess before moving on to a new activity, from sharing with others, and disrespecting individuals and their property. They haven’t grown out of the “I want I want I want” phase and will still hit another kid to get their way. Worst of all, they show no remorse for hurting others’ feelings or damaging someone’s possessions (ummm hello little girl, a piano that costs of few Gs isn’t an item you should stick tacks in…and you know it). Pure id has taken over and suffocated its disciplined, well-mannered counterparts in efforts to ensure he/she gets the newest Pokemon card or Bratz doll (read: slutty revamped version of Skipper).
While I don’t take any of the actions and words hurled at me personally, I feel for the other kids in the class…and frankly, I’m getting annoyed.
I know, I know, you’re a hands-on mom, a caring dad; you only want to show your love. You want to provide for your children and give them the materialistic items you didn’t have growing up. You’d do anything to keep your son or daughter from experiencing emotional stress or suffering. That’s all fine and good until you become your child’s personal servant. (Note: when you treat your kids this way, they will expect the same behaviors from others in the real world) Do yourself and your child a favor and teach them politeness, gratitude, and responsibility. Reinforce good behaviors and do not reward tantrums – even if their water works pull at your heartstrings. This is just a ploy do get you to do their bidding. They’re not in pain, not starving, not in a life or death situation. They are FINE. Who wouldn’t try to get out of washing the dishes or taking out the trash if they could?
Here is my suggestion (and equally one of my biggest pet peeves when I don’t observe it): Teach your kids to use the words “please” and “thank you.” I remember being a kid and demanding at the dinner table - “pass the salt,” “give me the water.” I had constant nagging from my mom and dad urging me to use the “magic words.” You know what? Hearing it enough times finally made it become habit. You know what I discovered after that? Using these words and being kind to strangers often resulted in another person being more willing to help me or cater to my needs. Miracle of all miracles – being kind actually got me what I wanted! What a revelation.
All I’m trying to say, folks, is do your job. If you decided to give birth to an innately innocent baby yet somehow it’s progressively metamorphosing into an evil spawn, make a few changes at home. Teach your kids ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and go from there.
Another parenting fail:
see more pwn and owned pictures
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Check It Out
Staying in theme with the last blog, today’s topic is all about getting the most out of resources available to you during this time of economic hardship. Yes, I understand your life sucks ever since you’ve had to take a pay cut/gotten laid-off/lost all hope etc., but don’t get too discouraged; now is the time to make use of the freebies you haven’t had time for…well, that is until now. More specifically, your financial woes shouldn’t necessarily stop you from enjoying your usual indulgences. Get in your car right now – scratch that, gas is still semi-costly – put on your sneakers and walk on over to your public library. I guarantee you I’m about to save you some cash.
Many libraries here in California have gotten a remodel in the past decade – with the addition of wi-fi, more computer availability, new furniture, technology inspired classes and the all too trendy self-checkout, the library is fast becoming a recession sanctuary. Therefore, here now are just a few reasons to grab a book bag and join the cash-free craze.
1) Free Internet! According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, unemployment rate has risen to a staggering 8.1 percent (as of last month). Frequent visitors of the library seem to be in job-hunting mode. Not only that, the library I’m currently killing time at offers free employment-searching courses and materials as well. After doing a brief walkabout through the genealogy aisle, down the stairs, and over to the tech lab, I saw the familiar Craigslist homepage on several screens. I also spotted two people using different job search engines, a half dozen checking emails and some old slackers/possible creepers on Myspace. The point is, now can you can stop punishing your next-door neighbor via a slow connection for not knowing how secure their wireless Internet. Stop stealing theirs and connect at the library inistead.
2) Cancel your Netflix or Blockbuster membership (if you’re old school) and check out a DVD at your library instead. While they might not receive the newest releases, I bet you’d be surprised by the large variety available. Additionally, they have many great DVDs you may have never known existed. My sister and I appreciate the Broadway Oklahoma revival staring Hugh Jackman. Others might enjoy programs you normally see on the Discovery or History Channel. Santa Clara Library also has a great selection of indie films as well as your average comic book blockbuster and star-studded chick flick.
3) Steer clear of Borders/Barnes and Noble. This is a no-brainer; borrow the newest best selling fiction and non-fiction instead of purchasing it. That’s all there is to this one. Library websites have even gotten tech savvy in terms of renewals, notices, and putting books on hold. You can now take advantage of the library before even setting foot inside the building.
4) The printed word is quickly becoming few and far between. Newspapers and magazines aren’t in circulation the way they used to be and it may be harder to find your favorite carrier. Do not fret, directly next to me (seriously, I’m reaching out my hand to spin the massive rotating display stand) is an almost overwhelming amount of papers and magazines. From your typical New York Times and SF Chronicle to the rarer Asian Week or India Post, you can get your daily read on here. Next, cancel your subscription because I have your Time, Martha Stewart Living or O (for you Winfrey fans), Cosmo, Maxim, New Yorker, National Geographic, Popular Mechanics, etc. right here. This place has your op-eds, sports statistics and tabloid trash all in one convenient location. Don’t worry, old folks (Kate, Jenny, Jade and Sara) from the corner of my eye I spy an Arthritis Today periodical just for you.
5) It’s probably not legal, but the library is a great alternative to handing your cash over to the man aka itunes. 99 cent songs can add up in time. Even my dad is stingy when it comes to using his leftover itunes gift cards from Hanukkah; only the extremely worthy make it onto his jogging playlist. If you’re like me and afraid of exposing your laptop to any more viruses via illegal song downloads, then checking out a CD could be an ideal option. The library has hundreds of CDs (all of which I might add are very burnable). So upload and rejoice.
6) Go talk to a librarian. This may not work everywhere – there are apt to be a handful of rude people in every city, maybe one of them works at your library – but for the most part, librarians are great resources and (from personal experience) really nice. Librarian job description: Be knowledgeable/helpful/sweeter than my nana (who was awesome by the way). Done. What more could you ask for? Sometimes it’s just nice to see a friendly face, and the local librarian will give me that fix.
Minor downsides (don’t let this discourage you!):
1) No eating or drinking in the library – I felt I was so close to replicating the ambiance of a local café, unfortunately I’ll be reading my books sans a skinny vanilla latte for a while. On the upside, this also saves me a few bucks a week I would typically spend on coffee.
2) While technically I am able to watch TV online from library computers, I have guilt trips about doing it. It’s as if these computers were placed here for some higher purpose (i.e. research and not the rotting of my brain). Though my shame for YouTubing and Facebooking on this server has yet to subside, it hasn’t stopped me from viewing the latest viral videos. For those of you that think I should just bring my laptop and watch things on it, yeah, the audio is a no-go. Downgrade. That’s what happens when you’ve had a laptop for 5 years. At least its still functioning…no blue screen yet!
Go to your local public library.
Unrelated: Watch at your own risk. This Japanese game show takes place in a library - and the fact that they have to remain quiet while in the library is about the only way this video relates to my blog. Nonetheless, you've got to give to it the Japanese for...well...I don't know. I highly suggest you don't watch most of this, but forward to 7 minutes and 45 seconds. It's good for a disturbing laugh.
Many libraries here in California have gotten a remodel in the past decade – with the addition of wi-fi, more computer availability, new furniture, technology inspired classes and the all too trendy self-checkout, the library is fast becoming a recession sanctuary. Therefore, here now are just a few reasons to grab a book bag and join the cash-free craze.
1) Free Internet! According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, unemployment rate has risen to a staggering 8.1 percent (as of last month). Frequent visitors of the library seem to be in job-hunting mode. Not only that, the library I’m currently killing time at offers free employment-searching courses and materials as well. After doing a brief walkabout through the genealogy aisle, down the stairs, and over to the tech lab, I saw the familiar Craigslist homepage on several screens. I also spotted two people using different job search engines, a half dozen checking emails and some old slackers/possible creepers on Myspace. The point is, now can you can stop punishing your next-door neighbor via a slow connection for not knowing how secure their wireless Internet. Stop stealing theirs and connect at the library inistead.
2) Cancel your Netflix or Blockbuster membership (if you’re old school) and check out a DVD at your library instead. While they might not receive the newest releases, I bet you’d be surprised by the large variety available. Additionally, they have many great DVDs you may have never known existed. My sister and I appreciate the Broadway Oklahoma revival staring Hugh Jackman. Others might enjoy programs you normally see on the Discovery or History Channel. Santa Clara Library also has a great selection of indie films as well as your average comic book blockbuster and star-studded chick flick.
3) Steer clear of Borders/Barnes and Noble. This is a no-brainer; borrow the newest best selling fiction and non-fiction instead of purchasing it. That’s all there is to this one. Library websites have even gotten tech savvy in terms of renewals, notices, and putting books on hold. You can now take advantage of the library before even setting foot inside the building.
4) The printed word is quickly becoming few and far between. Newspapers and magazines aren’t in circulation the way they used to be and it may be harder to find your favorite carrier. Do not fret, directly next to me (seriously, I’m reaching out my hand to spin the massive rotating display stand) is an almost overwhelming amount of papers and magazines. From your typical New York Times and SF Chronicle to the rarer Asian Week or India Post, you can get your daily read on here. Next, cancel your subscription because I have your Time, Martha Stewart Living or O (for you Winfrey fans), Cosmo, Maxim, New Yorker, National Geographic, Popular Mechanics, etc. right here. This place has your op-eds, sports statistics and tabloid trash all in one convenient location. Don’t worry, old folks (Kate, Jenny, Jade and Sara) from the corner of my eye I spy an Arthritis Today periodical just for you.
5) It’s probably not legal, but the library is a great alternative to handing your cash over to the man aka itunes. 99 cent songs can add up in time. Even my dad is stingy when it comes to using his leftover itunes gift cards from Hanukkah; only the extremely worthy make it onto his jogging playlist. If you’re like me and afraid of exposing your laptop to any more viruses via illegal song downloads, then checking out a CD could be an ideal option. The library has hundreds of CDs (all of which I might add are very burnable). So upload and rejoice.
6) Go talk to a librarian. This may not work everywhere – there are apt to be a handful of rude people in every city, maybe one of them works at your library – but for the most part, librarians are great resources and (from personal experience) really nice. Librarian job description: Be knowledgeable/helpful/sweeter than my nana (who was awesome by the way). Done. What more could you ask for? Sometimes it’s just nice to see a friendly face, and the local librarian will give me that fix.
Minor downsides (don’t let this discourage you!):
1) No eating or drinking in the library – I felt I was so close to replicating the ambiance of a local café, unfortunately I’ll be reading my books sans a skinny vanilla latte for a while. On the upside, this also saves me a few bucks a week I would typically spend on coffee.
2) While technically I am able to watch TV online from library computers, I have guilt trips about doing it. It’s as if these computers were placed here for some higher purpose (i.e. research and not the rotting of my brain). Though my shame for YouTubing and Facebooking on this server has yet to subside, it hasn’t stopped me from viewing the latest viral videos. For those of you that think I should just bring my laptop and watch things on it, yeah, the audio is a no-go. Downgrade. That’s what happens when you’ve had a laptop for 5 years. At least its still functioning…no blue screen yet!
Go to your local public library.
Unrelated: Watch at your own risk. This Japanese game show takes place in a library - and the fact that they have to remain quiet while in the library is about the only way this video relates to my blog. Nonetheless, you've got to give to it the Japanese for...well...I don't know. I highly suggest you don't watch most of this, but forward to 7 minutes and 45 seconds. It's good for a disturbing laugh.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Are Things Looking Up for Addicts and the Economy?
It’s no surprise to anyone that our economy has been in the shit hole for some time now. Lucky for me, being the financially dependent, school loan repaying, live-at-home college grad that I am, it hasn’t affected me drastically. Is it harder for me get a job than it might have been a decade ago? Yes. But I’m working and so is my family; we all feel fortunate enough to currently have jobs so I can’t really bitch and moan as much as others are allowed to.
And while the recent election of our new president has made many feel hopeful for a brighter future (in the sense that there is no way he can possibly fuck up more than Mr. Fuck Up himself) it will still be a while before your average Joe the Plumber (not the Mr. Clean look-a-like who now has his own manager) will see any mulah back his wallet.
Here, however, in efforts to speed up the process of economic recovery are just a couple of recent propositions I’ve read and heard about lately.
The biggest headliner would have to be legalizing marijuana in California. Though I may be mistaken, I believe it was reported on NPR the other day that taxing every ounce fifty dollars would result in an earning of over one billion dollars PER YEAR. First off, and someone correct me if I’m wrong because I am certainly no expert, but that seems like way more cash than anyone should ever have to pay for weed, depending on how good it is I suppose. Other than that, I have no qualms with this proposal. This bill wouldn’t affect me so if you’re willing to spend that amount of money, I, as a fellow tax payer and California citizen gladly accept your contribution. Just don’t bogart the spicy hot Cheetos!
Hearing about this topic made me think back to my high school mock congress week where I can guarantee you no students were opting to filibuster the legislation’s approval. Kudos to them for backing up most of their arguments with evidence. The same reasoning and restrictions they used 5 years ago still holds up – 21 year age requirement, no driving under the influence, etc. On that note, lets just add the reduction in carbon emissions from all that beautiful leafy greenery and, c’mon, who doesn’t think pot busts are a huge waste of time and money for law enforcement anyway? Lastly, if anyone spouts off moral disputes about this subject, I’d like to present exhibits A and B: alcohol and cigarettes. They are legal. I rest my case. Next!
Here is a law that I didn’t even know existed until recently. The Blue Law, which still holds in states like Georgia, Connecticut, Indiana, Texas, Alabama and Minnesota, was intended to impose and uphold religious values by banning the sale of alcohol on Sundays. (Side note: Utah requires people to fill out an application and pay a fee before entering a bar??? This can’t be true, can it? Freaks). Lawmakers want to repeal this prohibition claiming that it would create a decent boost in sales.
Explain again please, how is it different that I bought my booze on Saturday and I’m drinking it on Sunday? I’m no religion expert but doesn’t some religious group get to drink wine while taking communion on Sundays? What if the church runs out of wine? Can you not run to your local corner market to replenish thy supply? I’m looking for the logic in this law and if anyone finds it, fill me in. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I also ask you to recall that here in the good ole’ US of A we have a little thing we like to call “separation of church and state.” Done and done. Thank you!
Lastly, I just read today that The United States could raise close to fifty billion in revenue over the next ten years by repealing a three-year-old ban on Internet gambling and taxing the activity instead. Am I mistaken or do people not participate in internet gambling everyday? I think I’m correct when I state that this legislation is totally ineffective. Apparently the 2006 Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act was just a suggestion. Since no one is following it, go ahead, lift the ban, tax the act, and let the government skim a little cash off the top. Most of these people will end up losing their money anyway; they probably wouldn’t even notice you sneaked some. Who knows, maybe it’ll even convince some of the guys out there to grab their poker sunglasses and head over to play at friend’s house for some actual human interaction (yes, hang your head in shame if you use poker sunglasses at a friend's house because that makes you a bona fide tool).
So there is a look at recent brainstorms to solve our state/federal budget crisis. Good ideas? Absolutely! Dangerous to addicts around the world? Probably. You win some, you lose some. Here are some ideas that I think would help during these tough times, I just have to find a way to make them sound legal…
- First, tax or charge contestants on American Idol who for lack of a better word suck. Then, charge all the viewers five cents to call and vote for their favorites. Boom! There’s two billion right there. Now I will admit that FOX had an original idea during the premier of this series and I, too, am a Kelly Clarkson fan, but I’m pretty sure this show is on its 27th season. Enough is enough. It’s on every night and I miss seeing original sitcoms.
- For that matter, go ahead and apply the same concept above to participants and viewers of Dancing with the Stars because those faux celebrities are getting paid way too much. Just the opportunity to try and make a “come back” (I’m using this term loosely because many of these people were never really famous) should be enough.
- To all the dads, husbands, boyfriends, and men in general: Let women go shopping without pestering them about spending too much money. We’re just doing our part to stimulate the economy.
- This isn’t so much an idea as it is a question. Someone please explain to me why prostitution is illegal and porn is not? I just think it’s a bit hypocritical, that’s all. They’re both essentially sex for money, right?
- Lastly, tax anyone driving a Hummer or a wood paneled PT Cruiser because that’s just unacceptable and ugly.
And while the recent election of our new president has made many feel hopeful for a brighter future (in the sense that there is no way he can possibly fuck up more than Mr. Fuck Up himself) it will still be a while before your average Joe the Plumber (not the Mr. Clean look-a-like who now has his own manager) will see any mulah back his wallet.
Here, however, in efforts to speed up the process of economic recovery are just a couple of recent propositions I’ve read and heard about lately.
The biggest headliner would have to be legalizing marijuana in California. Though I may be mistaken, I believe it was reported on NPR the other day that taxing every ounce fifty dollars would result in an earning of over one billion dollars PER YEAR. First off, and someone correct me if I’m wrong because I am certainly no expert, but that seems like way more cash than anyone should ever have to pay for weed, depending on how good it is I suppose. Other than that, I have no qualms with this proposal. This bill wouldn’t affect me so if you’re willing to spend that amount of money, I, as a fellow tax payer and California citizen gladly accept your contribution. Just don’t bogart the spicy hot Cheetos!
Hearing about this topic made me think back to my high school mock congress week where I can guarantee you no students were opting to filibuster the legislation’s approval. Kudos to them for backing up most of their arguments with evidence. The same reasoning and restrictions they used 5 years ago still holds up – 21 year age requirement, no driving under the influence, etc. On that note, lets just add the reduction in carbon emissions from all that beautiful leafy greenery and, c’mon, who doesn’t think pot busts are a huge waste of time and money for law enforcement anyway? Lastly, if anyone spouts off moral disputes about this subject, I’d like to present exhibits A and B: alcohol and cigarettes. They are legal. I rest my case. Next!
Here is a law that I didn’t even know existed until recently. The Blue Law, which still holds in states like Georgia, Connecticut, Indiana, Texas, Alabama and Minnesota, was intended to impose and uphold religious values by banning the sale of alcohol on Sundays. (Side note: Utah requires people to fill out an application and pay a fee before entering a bar??? This can’t be true, can it? Freaks). Lawmakers want to repeal this prohibition claiming that it would create a decent boost in sales.
Explain again please, how is it different that I bought my booze on Saturday and I’m drinking it on Sunday? I’m no religion expert but doesn’t some religious group get to drink wine while taking communion on Sundays? What if the church runs out of wine? Can you not run to your local corner market to replenish thy supply? I’m looking for the logic in this law and if anyone finds it, fill me in. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I also ask you to recall that here in the good ole’ US of A we have a little thing we like to call “separation of church and state.” Done and done. Thank you!
Lastly, I just read today that The United States could raise close to fifty billion in revenue over the next ten years by repealing a three-year-old ban on Internet gambling and taxing the activity instead. Am I mistaken or do people not participate in internet gambling everyday? I think I’m correct when I state that this legislation is totally ineffective. Apparently the 2006 Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act was just a suggestion. Since no one is following it, go ahead, lift the ban, tax the act, and let the government skim a little cash off the top. Most of these people will end up losing their money anyway; they probably wouldn’t even notice you sneaked some. Who knows, maybe it’ll even convince some of the guys out there to grab their poker sunglasses and head over to play at friend’s house for some actual human interaction (yes, hang your head in shame if you use poker sunglasses at a friend's house because that makes you a bona fide tool).
So there is a look at recent brainstorms to solve our state/federal budget crisis. Good ideas? Absolutely! Dangerous to addicts around the world? Probably. You win some, you lose some. Here are some ideas that I think would help during these tough times, I just have to find a way to make them sound legal…
- First, tax or charge contestants on American Idol who for lack of a better word suck. Then, charge all the viewers five cents to call and vote for their favorites. Boom! There’s two billion right there. Now I will admit that FOX had an original idea during the premier of this series and I, too, am a Kelly Clarkson fan, but I’m pretty sure this show is on its 27th season. Enough is enough. It’s on every night and I miss seeing original sitcoms.
- For that matter, go ahead and apply the same concept above to participants and viewers of Dancing with the Stars because those faux celebrities are getting paid way too much. Just the opportunity to try and make a “come back” (I’m using this term loosely because many of these people were never really famous) should be enough.
- To all the dads, husbands, boyfriends, and men in general: Let women go shopping without pestering them about spending too much money. We’re just doing our part to stimulate the economy.
- This isn’t so much an idea as it is a question. Someone please explain to me why prostitution is illegal and porn is not? I just think it’s a bit hypocritical, that’s all. They’re both essentially sex for money, right?
- Lastly, tax anyone driving a Hummer or a wood paneled PT Cruiser because that’s just unacceptable and ugly.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Blogs and Blurbs...blerg.
My tech savvy sis created a blog. My dad recently started a blog. I had to Google the word "blog" before I even knew where the word was derived from. 'web' + 'log' = blog. How did I miss that? Well, now I have one and here is a brief blurb (seems like it should be a combo of other words too) about who I am and how I got...here. Oh, and yes I am fully aware that the only people reading this will be those of you that know me well enough to deem these entries unnecessary, but this is me making an effort to stay up to date with technology so there you go. Side note - while student teaching 4th grade I got to use a smart board, similar to what you would see political pundits use during election night. No clue how to use it, but everyday I attempted to use it I felt like one of these guys...
http://www.hulu.com/watch/40678/saturday-night-live-update-freds-mapfix-it?c=87:260
Anyway, back to the point. Long story short:
Childhood= mostly fond memories; High school = fine; College = fun; Adult life = ahwhaa?
In order to create some sort of analogy as to where I am in my life right now, I'm going to reference something I'm sure most intelligent TV watchers are familiar with - the hilarious, prematurely-canceled, soon to be on the big screen, pseudo-documentary Arrested Development. The sitcom follows a dysfunctional family full of stunted adults who, I like to think, are still well-intentioned and loving....deep, deep, deep down in their hearts. And while I may not have as many idiosyncrasies (and I have definitely seen a chicken before) I've been starting to think that I, too, am stuck in some sort of suspended state like those characters.
The other day I told my semi-helicopter dad (think hovering) that 23 was the new 18. We both laughed, but not because it was funny. We laughed because it was pathetically true in terms of his dear old daughter's life. I'm going to be 23 in May and while I would love to claim to be the "grown-up" I know I should be, I'm extremely far from it.
This is not to say I'm not responsible or competent, just that I've still got the emotional and psychological maturity of someone much younger. Maybe that's why I get along with my students so well. Anyway, that's where I am. I've got big plans coming up, but don't want to jinx them so I suppose they'll get written about if they go the way I'm hoping.
Just for kicks - like I told Sara, you have to imagine the "Oh, Yeah!" part the way he used to say it.
Graffiti Win:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/40678/saturday-night-live-update-freds-mapfix-it?c=87:260
Anyway, back to the point. Long story short:
Childhood= mostly fond memories; High school = fine; College = fun; Adult life = ahwhaa?
In order to create some sort of analogy as to where I am in my life right now, I'm going to reference something I'm sure most intelligent TV watchers are familiar with - the hilarious, prematurely-canceled, soon to be on the big screen, pseudo-documentary Arrested Development. The sitcom follows a dysfunctional family full of stunted adults who, I like to think, are still well-intentioned and loving....deep, deep, deep down in their hearts. And while I may not have as many idiosyncrasies (and I have definitely seen a chicken before) I've been starting to think that I, too, am stuck in some sort of suspended state like those characters.
The other day I told my semi-helicopter dad (think hovering) that 23 was the new 18. We both laughed, but not because it was funny. We laughed because it was pathetically true in terms of his dear old daughter's life. I'm going to be 23 in May and while I would love to claim to be the "grown-up" I know I should be, I'm extremely far from it.
This is not to say I'm not responsible or competent, just that I've still got the emotional and psychological maturity of someone much younger. Maybe that's why I get along with my students so well. Anyway, that's where I am. I've got big plans coming up, but don't want to jinx them so I suppose they'll get written about if they go the way I'm hoping.
Just for kicks - like I told Sara, you have to imagine the "Oh, Yeah!" part the way he used to say it.
Graffiti Win:
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