So I’ve been in Australia for three months now and worked as a temp receptionist at Cisco - St. Leonards for almost a month and a half. During this time, I’ve had a wide variety of conversations with my co-workers and have picked up some new words (be forewarned, I’m taking a total stab at the spelling here):
Aussie - pronounced ozzy. I just put this one up because I think it relates to the next few words.
Mozzie - mosquitos
Cozzie - bathing suit
Prozzie - prostitute
(I’m convinced they’re just very patriotic and want their words to end with the same sound as aussie)
Bogon - white trash
Sunnies - sun glasses
Arvo - afternoon
Lollies - candy
Macca’s - McDonalds
Acca Dacca - AC/DC
Pressie - present
Ganga - sluts
Fringe - bangs (as in hair)
Entrée - InAustralia theentrée is the first course or appetizer. Confuse me? At home this is the main course.
The legendary musical group that is The Beatles manages to stay relevant no matter how many decades pass. This week was 9/9/09 (number 9, number 9, number 9), a newly released box set is flying off the shelves and even the Rock Band video game is getting in on the action. Now that Beatle mania is back in full force, it’s no wonder that everyone is putting out their “favourites list.” Like how I threw in that “u”?
After reading a few lists, Leah and I decided to put together our own top 20’s list. Of course, this list is completely subjective; everyone has their own opinions and certain songs might mean more because of personal reasons. At any rate, here is my list of my top 20 Beatles songs. Note: this list is obviously only a fraction of the songs I love. Additionally, I attempted to rank them, but found it nearly impossible; this is the best I could do. I feel pretty good about my top 3 but everything else could be moved around a bit. We also threw in a favorite Beatles cover and favorite single by a solo Beatle.
20. I Want to Hold Your Hand – This song is in here for one reason… the clapping. It has the old school 60’s style clapping. Although it is in no way translated correctly via blog it goes a little something like this: clap clap --- clap clap. Guess that didn’t work; play it and listen.
19. Lady Madonna – I like the characters McCartney use to create, especially this one. Ahh the plight of the single, poverty-stricken mother. Thank goodness it’s got a boogie-woogie feel to make it a little more snappy and a little less depressing.
18. Yellow Submarine – We had a sing along VHS a la the crappy Kidz Bop CDs that are released nowadays. It featured children dressed up in yellow rain gear hopping from foot to foot with their hands behind their backs on an animated submarine. It was okay. Fast forward some years later where I hear the Beatles version. For me the appeal of this song is all about the interlude; the ship’s bells, whistles blowing, and captain’s orders are the most fun part to sing. Then of course…the band begins to play [insert my impression of a brass band]. Also, go Ringo!
17. Yesterday – For me, this one is more about the captivating melody, especially the bridge; it’s both melancholic and refreshing at the same time.
16. Across the Universe – I have to admit, I liked this song better before the Across The Universe film came out. In fact, it got bumped down a few spots. This is also probably the most transcendental, trippy song I have on my list. I might be one of the only younger Beatle fans that respects their psychedelic rock phase but won’t be hitting the repeat button very often. I can’t seem to connect to the material as well. Regardless, it’s a beautiful song and if you’re interested, Fiona Apple does a stunning cover. Jai guru deva om.
15. Let It Be – I’m having an extremely difficult time figuring out what it is that makes me like this song. It’s got a churchy feel which is normally not my style, but I’m still very fond of it.
14. I've Just Seen a Face - As a child this faster tempo song compelled me to memorize the lyrics. This is the same way I later felt about the lyrics of “One Week” by Barenaked Ladies or the way I aspire to memorize the lyrics to “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It” by R.E.M. Baby steps, my friend. Baby steps. This song makes me feel the same way as those others do…but it has a folksy/bluegrass twist.
13. Help! – One of the first movies I remember wanting to quote non-stop. “Go tooo tha win-dow!” “Hey, Be-a-tle!” “Ho ho…Ho ho ho!..ho ho. Ho!” You have to watch it to get it. Anyway, this is when I learned the Beatles were funny. There were many good songs in this movie, including the title song! And these days, who couldn’t use a little help? Again, way to go Ringo and your central role in the film! But really go! Run! The plot of this movie focuses on Ringo escaping from becoming a cult’s human sacrifice!
12. Blackbird – This is a very peaceful song considering it was inspired by racial tension/civil rights movement. Possibly my favorite acoustic song by Paul.
11. Octopus’s Garden – I have memories as a child of day dreaming about putting on a successful talent show piece in which me and my friends sing this song while hundreds of bubbles fly around a beautiful Under the Sea stage set. Unfortunately, I’m tone deaf. My dreams never stood a chance.
10. If I fell – This is a pretty song filled with vulnerable lyrics. I can’t help but feel bad for the girl that gets screwed over. “And that she will cry/When she learns we are two.”
9. Eleanor Rigby – Violins never sounded so good. Another great character. When I hear this song, I think of the intro to Mystery. British and eerie.
8. I Will – I had heard this song before, but it wasn’t until a few years ago that I really became partial to it. One night my first year in college my friends Jenny and Nicole got stuck taking Safe Ride home with a creepy driver to boot. Apparently, they heard this song and sung it non-stop for the next week or two. While I got sick of it at the time, hearing this song now reminds me of my friends and it feels like a soft lullaby.
7. Something – I remember watching this music video of each Beatle and a spouse or significant other. I recall thinking it was very sweet. It’s also the first time I remember seeing Yoko Ono. Huh. I was very confused.
6. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da – The first time I heard this song I heard it in Palauan (Palau: an island nation in the Pacific Ocean). I thought to myself “Hey, now THIS is some catchy islander music.” Come to find years later that a bunch of British dudes wrote it. It’s still catchy and my (self-proclaimed) official part of this song is to sing this line “Buys a twenty carat golden ring” followed by the extremely high pitched extra “RING!” while I point my index finger up in the air as if I’ve suddenly come up with a brilliant idea.
5. All You Need is Love – Simplicity at its best. Such a straightforward idea, it’s a wonder someone didn’t write these lyrics earlier. The allure of this song is that it’s message is universal. I bet it’s translatable in just about every language and the meaning doesn’t lose a thing. Girly side note: The way they use this song in the wedding scene of Love Actually is absolutely fabulous.
4. All my Loving – QUINTESSENTIAL Beatles. Performing, heads bobbing side to side, mop tops like mesmerizing metronomes on Ed Sullivan’s stage. Did I unintentionally just write a haiku? In any case, early Beatles at their best.
3. Golden Slumber/Carry that Weight/The End – I think on the original album this might be several songs, but I’m pretty sure it was released as a single so I’m listing it together. That being said 3 songs in 1 is a sweet deal. “And, in the end, the love you take/ Is equal to the love you make.” ‘Nuff said.
2. In My Life – This song is the culmination of a person who has lived a full life. In an extremely morbid, yet comforting way, I always imagined this song would play at my funeral set to a slideshow of “Kodak moment” photos with me, my friends, family and loved ones. However, the only person reading this blog is my dad… hopefully I outlive him. It looks like my final wishes may never be fulfilled.
1. Oh! Darling – It’s hard to describe why I LOVE this exquisite song so much. It has a rhythm and blues feel to it with a voice to match. Paul’s vocals are off, but in the right kind of way. The Little Richard Tutti Frutti “Oooos” and the screaming “WHEN YOU TOLD ME...’s” all help the yearning and emotions come through. At its core, it is a love song, but a believable one. And I love it.
Favorite solo single – Paul McCartney: Maybe I’m Amazed Favorite cover – Twist and Shout
Honorable mention: “With a Little Help From My Friends” Though to be honest, I love it because Joe Cocker re-released it and it was in the intro to the Wonder Years. SO GOOD!
Okay, maybe this isn't a formal, objective piece. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Regardless, my Dad’s ‘97 Honda CRV just passed 300,000 miles. Through a little bit of magic (and a lot of upkeep) it’s managed to continue running. Though I hope his car makes it another 100k miles, this may be wishful thinking. For the past few years he’s been talking about what car he would get once this one died on him. On several occasions he’s referred to the Honda ELEMENT as an option. This blog entry is dedicated to why I think buying a Honda Element is a poor choice. Note: My reasons are not founded on facts or statistics of any kind. Everything written on this page is purely my opinion…which obviously means it’s all valid and any/all suggestions should be taken seriously.
Here are several reasons why the next car he gets SHOULD NOT be an ELEMENT. It’s unsightly box shape is reminiscent of a Hummer/PT Cruiser. In other words, it looks as if the two most unattractive cars ever gave birth to ugly automobile offspring. It is a square. “Lame,” “Loser,” “Nerd” for those of you that didn’t catch that pun.
It has wide opening side cargo doors. I’m pretty sure this means the doors trick out so that they open towards each other; the rear doors don’t open on their own. Does that make sense? In terms of writing, I’m not sure I’ve conveyed that picture clearly. Doesn’t matter because those kinds of doors don’t make sense either. I hate relying on the front seat passenger to open their door before I can get in or out. Essentially, it’s a two door car posing as a four door. And I hate posers.
In terms of interior, I haven’t seen it. But I doubt there are enough cup holders.
I’ve never driven an Element, but I assume it drives like any other car. Nothing special.
Crap - While doing research for reasons to support my anti-element cause, I discovered that the car is reliable and pretty safe. Well played Element, well played.
1. How do I turn charoset (my favorite item to eat during passover) into an acceptable dish at the table. In other words, when I get a bowl of matzo ball soup, can I get a full bowl of charoset right next to it?
2. Why is searching for the afikoman a pastime that only children participate in?
3. Is Pesach more fun if you have Manishevitz instead of grape juice?
4. Are we required to watch the Ten Commandments starring Charlton Heston every year?
Answers:
1. Charoset is typically a mix of apples, nuts, grape juice, cinnamon and other ingredients you can use based on your own personal preferences. Its color and texture are meant to remind us of the mortar with which the Israelites bonded bricks together when they were slaves in Egypt. Nowadays, its more of a side dish at the Seder table (usually meant to be eaten with matzah) and will probably never be acceptable to eat as a dish in its own right. So, how do I turn charoset into an acceptable meal on its own? Answer: I don’t. Pretty much I tell my Aunt Lainie (who makes it better than I can) that everyone loves it and to make a lot. Then, I gladly offer to put the ample leftovers in Tupperware and later hide it behind the salad in the fridge where no one will see it when packing plates of food to go or looking for a midnight snack. The next day I take the Tupperware to work and enjoy my charoset as a meal in it of itself, among my gentile coworkers. They may ask me what it is, but they don’t know enough about Pesach to judge and they certainly don’t ask me to share.
2. The afikomen is a piece of matzah which is hidden before the Seder begins and searched for once the meal is over. Finding the afikomen usually results in some sort of prize, normally a monetary reward aka 5 bucks! Now I know I have a job, but I'm certainly not rolling in dough. So why can’t I partake in this tradition anymore? Why do the kids, who are still too young to identify what it feels like to be broke, get first dibs? Why do only the children participate? Answer: because the adults hosting the Seder are bitter that they don’t get to join in anymore either. They are the ones shelling out the big bucks, and you can bet they’d have no problem looking like an idiot searching for a tasteless, unleavened cracker if it meant they could make some quick cash. Alas, if they cannot play, they must punish the young at heart, soon to be 23 year old who wishes she could still take part.
3. The Press girls may never know the answer to this one. Let’s be honest, the relationship between my previously hippy dad and islander mom possibly (read: most likely) originated from a lifestyle including a liberal use of alcohol. As a result, both parents haven’t had much to drink in the past two decades. My mom has had a glass of wine here and there and my dad has been completely sober for more than 17 years (very proud of him. Apparently he used to be an alcoholic; I was too young to remember.) As a result, our Seders are usually sans wine. Maybe the Manicheviz would come in handy if I were forced to sit through a long, drawn out Seder, but luckily for me our Seders are kid-friendly and concise. We hit the main parts of the haggadah, say some prayers, and sing a few “songs” (I put the words songs in quotes because it’s really just ten rounds of Dayenu followed by my dad’s slightly deafening personal rendition of ‘Go Down Moses- Let My People Go’) So, is Pesach more fun if you have Manishevitz instead of grape juice? I don’t know and I don’t really care. The Press’ have fun Passovers no matter what. It’s my favorite holiday!
4. The answer is a resounding “NO!” Good lord that is a long movie. I remember when I was younger it had to go onto two VHS tapes. The only other VHS movie I had that was split into two tapes was The Sound of Music. And the second half of Sound of Music, after intermission, is boring anyhow – they’ve already done all the good songs, so you shouldn’t even bother with the second tape (‘Climb Ev’ry Mountain’ hahaha). I digress, sorry, that has nothing to do with this topic… although that movie was full of Nazis. Anyway, back to Ten Commandments. While Charlton Heston parting the sea was memorable and I think it’s funny that Yul Brynner played Pharaoh (think King and I – I just really like musicals), this movie is toooooooo long to add to an already lengthy Seder where most guests are just eager to get to the meal portion of the night already. We used to keep it on in the background, but we’ve managed to phase it out over the years. I think it was a good move.
Pesach Shout Outs to: Honorary Jews - Jessa and Kate, you missed out on quality matzo ball soup. Optically Onion Intolerant Laurel, the house still smells like latkes, so you may want to steer clear. And Sara – the horseradish we had to buy a year ago is still here, thank god. We put it on the seder plate…I don’t think anyone even touched it. Hopefully there are many more Passovers to come and you’ll all be able to join us again. L’Chaim.
I don't feel like writing a ton - I'm struggling just to create full sentences. Here's my super quick movie reviews. If you want a longer review, check out Leah's The Reel Thing on her blog. She takes the time to give you summaries and insightful critiques. I don't.
The last couple of weeks I have seen:
Taken:
Loved it. Like the Borne movies, but better. Here's why: He's an older guy doing awesome kick ass stuff, this automatically makes him cooler than Borne. Also, I love strong familial ties in films - dad demolishing herds of people to get his daughter back, how sweet. Lastly, this movie is not without it's somewhat humorous moments. "IT'S A FLESH WOUND!"
P.S. I appreciate that not every scene is filmed with a hand held type camera a la Borne Ultimatum and that insect/Godzilla movie that I didn't see (I'm drawing a blank on the title) in which some theaters provided barf bags for queasy moviegoers.
Duplicity:
This movie was looooooong. This film runs over two hours long and is filled with too many flashbacks and flash forwards for my taste. What can I say? The acting was fine, the storyline was fine (with a nice twist), it was all just fine. That's all. Staring at Clive Owen helps, but not quite enough to make it worth spending ten bucks. Also, I hate to say it, but Julia Roberts has some really poor wardrobe choices in this movie. Where the hell is the costume designer when you need him/her? Or maybe it was faulty lighting? Whoever the culprit is, there was some major post-baby weight showing in a few of the scenes. And now I feel like a horrible woman who has betrayed her kind. Sorry feminists 'round the world...but c'mon she's going to be seen my millions of people - stick the lady in some Spanx.
I Love You, Man:
Best thing about this movie - Jason Segel. I love me some Paul Rudd, but he just wasn't cutting it in this film. I'm not sure he should be a lead in anymore of these Apatow-type films. Also, the bromance genre is quickly getting played. If you're going to do another, it needs to be better or more original than the last. Sorry older guys, Superbad was funnier. This movie isn't written well enough, but it does have it's moments. Maybe it's because I'm a girl and missing part of the appeal? Boys, let me if there's more to I Love You, Man than the occasionally humorous jam session and bj references. Lastly, thumbs up to Jamie Pressly for making me laugh more than leading female Rashida Jones.
This blog entry was inspired by an email I wrote to my friend Nicole while killing time at the library before work.
Everybody’s got issues. I’m not talking about oh, I bite my nails or sometimes I get slight road rage when drivers cut me off. I’m talking about weird things. Really weird things you’ve learned to keep to yourself (or you should keep to yourself) because maybe it’s cute to your significant other or close friends but to the general public it’s just bizarre and creepy. Sometimes people will tell you to “let you freak flag fly,” “just be yourself,” etc. While that sounds all good and dandy, if you scare the little children passing by and are uncomfortable with the incessant strange looks you receive daily, maybe you should think about keep those idiosyncrasies on the down low.
Sitting next to me right now is a woman who would best be describe as a zaftig, Frieda Kahlo look-a-like wearing Buddy Holly glasses. (While e-mailing Nicole earlier I accidentally first wrote Freida Pinto and had to send another email clarifying that Freida Pinto is the gorgeous actress from Slumdog Millionaire – she definitely does not resemble the woman sitting next to me.) Anyway, earlier I saw this woman walk up next to me, examine the chairs, switch the chairs, wipe off the seat with a paper towel, clean the keyboard with a paper towel and is now using the mouse with a paper towel on top of it. I mean she’s moving around a paper towel – cleaning it wasn’t enough. What strikes me as odd is that the crazy lady doesn’t look all that clean herself. Very poorly dressed. Sloppy.
Furthermore, I’m currently having an awful allergy attack. Why, of all places (especially when there are five computers lined up in a row) choose the desktop directly next to me? I’m congested, occasionally sneezing and breathing loudly (although my sister tells me that I’m a loud breather regardless of the pollen count. I was completely unaware of this.) You’d think that would make a clean freak want to move as far away as possible. Anyway, I’m not in any way saying this lady is a bad person because of her issues. Like I said, everybody’s got issues. All I’m saying is maybe move to a more remote location…like Siberia. I kid, I kid. And now I’m a bitch, great. I’m just saying be prepared to be judged by me and fellow judgmental (and maybe a little too superficial, I admit it) individuals like myself. In return, when you find out my issues, which hopefully you never will, you’re allowed to judge me right back.
For lack of a more eloquent way of saying this, please make an effort not to fuck up your kid more than your genetics and preexisting, uncontrollable environmental factors already will. For years I have babysat, been a camp counselor, tutored, student taught, subbed, etc. In other words, I’ve spent my fair share around other people’s children. I’ve had the pleasure of teaching your child new concepts, playing games with them, laughing, learning and more. Most of the time I find it intrinsically rewarding just to be a part of another’s academic career and childhood….here comes the but…
BUT lately I’ve been experiencing a new breed of child, a mutation if you will. I’m used to spoiled kids and rebellious attitudes; I’ve been around dozens of people with an undeserving sense of entitlement. Recently, however, I’ve had to cope with caring for the “kidult.” I’m calling these selfish, spoiled rotten children “kidults” because they have the adorable appearance of a sweet youngster, but tend to take on the role of adult in their family unit. They make the big choices, family decisions cater to their whims and, the worst part, they are aware of their manipulative powers and take no shame in using them upon oblivious parents. There is probably an official or formal term for this condition, but since I don’t know it (or don’t remember it after taking multiple child development classes) I’ll just stick with kidult. This is not new information to anyone; many children are spoiled. I’m writing about this topic now because these kidults are popping up just as fast as foreclosed signs. It is becoming an epidemic.
I currently work at a school in Santa Clara full of upper middle class couples that live in McMansions (which they probably can’t afford anymore) and stick their kids in a million extracurricular activities. A number of these students have no respect for their peers or adults. Their sense of entitlement stops them from cleaning up their own mess before moving on to a new activity, from sharing with others, and disrespecting individuals and their property. They haven’t grown out of the “I want I want I want” phase and will still hit another kid to get their way. Worst of all, they show no remorse for hurting others’ feelings or damaging someone’s possessions (ummm hello little girl, a piano that costs of few Gs isn’t an item you should stick tacks in…and you know it). Pure id has taken over and suffocated its disciplined, well-mannered counterparts in efforts to ensure he/she gets the newest Pokemon card or Bratz doll (read: slutty revamped version of Skipper).
While I don’t take any of the actions and words hurled at me personally, I feel for the other kids in the class…and frankly, I’m getting annoyed.
I know, I know, you’re a hands-on mom, a caring dad; you only want to show your love. You want to provide for your children and give them the materialistic items you didn’t have growing up. You’d do anything to keep your son or daughter from experiencing emotional stress or suffering. That’s all fine and good until you become your child’s personal servant. (Note: when you treat your kids this way, they will expect the same behaviors from others in the real world) Do yourself and your child a favor and teach them politeness, gratitude, and responsibility. Reinforce good behaviors and do not reward tantrums – even if their water works pull at your heartstrings. This is just a ploy do get you to do their bidding. They’re not in pain, not starving, not in a life or death situation. They are FINE. Who wouldn’t try to get out of washing the dishes or taking out the trash if they could?
Here is my suggestion (and equally one of my biggest pet peeves when I don’t observe it): Teach your kids to use the words “please” and “thank you.” I remember being a kid and demanding at the dinner table - “pass the salt,” “give me the water.” I had constant nagging from my mom and dad urging me to use the “magic words.” You know what? Hearing it enough times finally made it become habit. You know what I discovered after that? Using these words and being kind to strangers often resulted in another person being more willing to help me or cater to my needs. Miracle of all miracles – being kind actually got me what I wanted! What a revelation.
All I’m trying to say, folks, is do your job. If you decided to give birth to an innately innocent baby yet somehow it’s progressively metamorphosing into an evil spawn, make a few changes at home. Teach your kids ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and go from there.
